Here is the draft of my magazine article.
┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━•❃°•° Self reflection°•°❃ •━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┓
It was much more difficult than I had anticipated to create an article, especially because it needed to be about 700 words long. Compared to past blog posts I've written, this one took a lot longer to complete since I had to use both creativity and critical thinking to put together, checking my use of punctuation, grammar and sentence structure, while also catching up with the deadline. Moreover, I had to make multiple changes to my plan about the content I wanted to discuss. In the end, I decided to create an interview format because I believe readers can relate to the star appeal speaking their thoughts and to build a sense of connection among them. In any case, I had hoped for more time to write this post so that I would have more time to think thoroughly and perhaps even revise it because there are still a lot of things I would like to modify or improve.
I was able to further improve the language and content of my article by consulting with my teacher, who provided feedback and suggestions on my draft submission. This allowed me to proof read my article all over again as well as revising them so that I can properly communicate with my audience. After reading his feedback, I realised that although my interview was conducted face-to-face my first draft of the article was written in a highly formal style. Consequently, I need to change the language to something more conversational and informal so that my intended audience (teenage girls) can read and comprehend the content of my article more easily.
┗━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━• ❃°•°❀°•°❃ •━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┛
First draft
Title: The New Fashion Sensation
Subheading: She has stepped into her own spotlight, receiving the best rising star artist in the Soul 2023 Awards and has just signed on as an ambassador for Chenelle, becoming the most influential to the public at a young age.
Article content:
Known for her distinctive style, (last name) has always been open about her thoughts, opinions and inspirations. Recently Charlene has agreed to serve as an ambassador for the Asian fashion house, Chenelle.
It can be said that her style has been popularised again by those who have now become a trend among young people. This unique, fresh and different concept has succeeded in getting the attention of every audience especially towards teenage girls.
She is seen wearing dark blue jeans with a black and white crop top with a star image in the center posted in the official announcement images. "Captivating global audiences with her versatile talent, Charlene, nominated for the Soul 2023 Awards for best rising star artists — joins Chenelle as a new House Ambassador," the company announced.
Through the brand's official announcement, Charlene was chosen as a young artist with very expressive power and who cannot contain her charm. “Charlene is a very young artist with great expressive power and an irresistible, charming individuality: a contrast that I find fascinating. She has personality, which to me is the most attractive trait,” said Rainelle, the managing director of Chenelle.
Nearly a year after making her debut, Charlene responds to questions regarding her creative process, sense of style, and sources of inspiration that will always influence her work and style.
What are your latest fashion obsession?
I’m currently into baby tees, it's a great balance for when you want to be comfortable but still stylish. Baby tees come in a wide range of designs to suit your taste, which allows us to express our personality and individual style, that's what I love about them. I’ve been collecting for some time now, I always like to pair it with my skort!
What do you feel being the ambassador of Chenelle?
As a fan of Chenelle, I’ve always dreamt of working with them some day, and I am so happy to have been selected as a global ambassador and it is such an honour. After debuting, my interest in fashion has grown and I think I’ll be able to learn and experience more about clothing with products of Chenelle so I’m really looking forward to it.
What is your favourite makeup look these days?
Though I haven't had much opportunity to test it out, I'm loving the orange and sun-kissed makeup looks as the weather warms up. I always bring the Baby Lips Balm with me since it's so compact and simple to use. All of the hues are quite adorable and organic. I think that the burnt orange with a hint of sparkle is very gorgeous!
How important it is for you to experiment with style?
What I do best is pushing myself to try new things, and it's not only in style. I think it's something I want to do consistently moving ahead. I'm making an effort to face my fears of attempting new things!
What do you have to say for anyone out there who is still finding their style?
Have fun experimenting with all different kinds of styles that suit you the best! Fashion is all about expressing your personal style, so don't be afraid to experiment. So, just wear what makes you feel good and don't be afraid to mix different styles together.
Finally, what is your ultimate goal? What do you think about the future?
It’s difficult to pinpoint one goal that we strive to achieve, especially considering that it has only been about a year since my debut. There's plenty to learn and do. For this moment, I want to explore the uncharted, and I believe that I will be able to accomplish a lot of things and have a lot of experiences along the way!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Receiving Feedback
Here is the written feedback I received from my teacher:
After consulting with the teacher regarding my first draft, it made me realized that considering the fact my magazine is intended for audiences that are leaning towards young female teenagers, the language I used was a bit too formal to understand especially when I positioned the situation as a face-to-face interview. I also plan to remove some of the parts of my article so that it looks compact and not too lengthy to be read as it might potentially bore the readers especially when my target audience is towards young teenagers, where they prefer articles that have less amount of text written and more visuals.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Revised Article
Below is the article I revised:
Title: All Eyes on Me
Subheading: She has stepped into her own spotlight, receiving the best rising star artist in the Soul 2023 Awards and has just signed on as an ambassador for Chenelle, becoming the most influential to the public at a young age.
Article content:
Known for her distinctive style, Tirta has always been open about her thoughts, opinions and inspirations. Recently Charlene has agreed to serve as an ambassador for the Asian fashion house, Chenelle.
It can be said that her style has been popularised again by those who have now become a trend among young people. This unique, fresh and different concept has succeeded in getting the attention of every audience especially towards teenage girls.
She is seen wearing dark blue jeans with a black and white crop top with a star image in the center posted in the official announcement images. "Captivating global audiences with her versatile talent, Charlene, nominated for the Soul 2023 Awards for best rising star artists — joins Chenelle as a new House Ambassador," the company announced.
Through the brand's official announcement, Charlene was chosen as a young artist with very expressive power and who cannot contain her charm. “Charlene is a very young artist with great expressive power and an irresistible, charming individuality: a contrast that I find fascinating. She has personality, which to me is the most attractive trait,” said Allison, the managing director of Chenelle.
Nearly a year after making her debut, Charlene responds to questions regarding her creative process, sense of style, and sources of inspiration that will always influence her work and style.
What are your latest fashion obsession?
Ooh.. I'm currently into baby tees. I feel like they're such a great balance for when you want to be comfortable but still stylish at the same time — they also come in a wide range of designs which I love. I’ve been collecting them for quite a while, I always like to pair it with my skort!
What do you have to say for anyone out there who is still finding their style?
Hmm.. there are at times I have struggled about this as well [laughs]. I'd say just have fun experimenting with all different kinds of styles that suit you the best! Fashion is all about expressing your personal style, so don't be afraid to experiment. My best advice is just wear what makes you feel good and don't be afraid to mix different styles together.
There's been talk of the town of you being selected as Chenelle's newest brand ambassador, what do you feel about it?
I've always dreamt of working with them since I got into fashion. When I got the chat message (from Chenelle), I felt like I was on top of the world. It's such an honour for me to be part of this company. Since my debut, my interest in fashion has grown day by day and I'm looking forward to learn and experience more about clothing with their products.
Finally, what is your ultimate goal? What do you think about the future?
Considering it has only been about a year since my debut, it's still difficult for me to focus on one goal I've been longing to achieve — there's still plenty of room for me to learn and do. For now, I wish to explore the unknown, and I believe that I will be able to achieve a lot of things and have a lot of experiences along the way!
No comments:
Post a Comment